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*.* Her Life Mission *.*

Name: Michelle Ruth Tong

Birthday: 3rd March

Life Mission Statement:
To be a testimony of Christ and set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Tim. 4:12). Do whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, whatever is excellent and praiseworthy to God (Phili 4:8).



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Wednesday 31 August 2005
*.* *.*

This whole week seem to be very long, longer than the usual weeks. I am having a very rotten and terrible week.

I bought a new 80GB hard disk and before I could even use it, it fell from my table to the floor. There goes my hard disk and my $128. My heart sank. The $128 seem so big to me now because I just feel that I am tight when it comes to money.
Not just that, I dropped a photo frame today and the whole frame glass smashed into many pieces. I dropped my mirror (think this is my 4th mirror of the year) AGAIN!

I really don't know what's wrong. I am really stress. It just seems that whatever I do, it will never be right.

I need to release my stress soon. I can't wait this week to pass.

posted by Michelle at 22:39:00 | 1 comments


Friday 26 August 2005
*.* *.*

I think I'm going to be dead soon if I continue to meet deadlines. I can't wait exams to come and then comes my 45 days of freedom. I saw my friend's msn nick as " I will have depression if I continue to go to school!" I felt that was pretty cool for her to think of that. I think I won't have depression but I will go crazy and off track.

I failed my final theory test. I can't imagine I failed but I have to say that I deserve to fail because I didn't really study thoroughly for my test. It's not just common sensical questions but some memorising to do too. I really wonder when I can be on the road. To think that da ge and da jie wanted to give me a loan and let me apply as a student than taking private for my final theory. I'm very grateful for their help but I don't want to live a life that I have to owe them something. I don't want to add burden to myself knowing that I probably wont' be able to handle that kind of financial loan. Thank God and thank them for they understand and respect my decision.

I just feel so blessed because there are many things I didn't even think of will happen came through. Probably I've learnt to live a contented life.

posted by Michelle at 00:18:00 | 2 comments


Thursday 25 August 2005
*.* Are you considerate enough? *.*

If people in the bus or train could have been more considerate, guess many people will be grateful because they won't be missing their bus or train to their destination and not be late.

If people could have been more considerate, then you probably won't be hearing some cursing and swearing words from other people trying to board the bus or even alight from it.

If people have been more considerate, guess you won't be hearing the bus driver having to shout to get people to move in, or people trying to pull open the MRT door to get in.

I wish I am not one of those who blocked people's way, if I ever did, I'm sorry. However, I feel I'm more of a victim. No choice. It happened 2 days in a row and I feel it's not something that we all can pin point or should pin point. It's everyone's effort having to play a part and not being selfish.

I remembered there was once I was rushing to somewhere meeting my friend. The door was about to close and I was just 2 steps away from the door. 2 steps but I couldn't get in. I wanted to barge my way through but I didn't. I was disappointed and angry. Beside there were 2 ladies standing in front of the door, refused to make way for me despite knowing I was trying to push my way in. I didn't know why the door opened again and I went in with a big "Excuse Me".

I was with my mentor yesterday and we were waiting for our bus for Bible study. It was a long bus but we couldn't make our way through. When the bus left with a huge crowd standing at the entrance of the door, we saw a lot of empty spaces at the back too. We just wish we could have done something and ask the people to move in and we get ourselves some space too.

Today I was on my way back home from school. To my surprise that at such an early afternoon the bus was already packed! It was the time for the secondary school to get home. The bus driver was shouting trying to get people to move in. I just don't understand. When the bus was so full, he refused to open the front door for his passengers to alight. He wanted them to know that people at the back needs to move to the rear of the bus. However this school boy said with an amusing tone "This is impossible!" when he got off the bus, having to move from the front and squeeze all the way to the back. I understand how he feels too.

Sometimes I just wish I can tell others to move in, but I don't dare. All I could do is to stare. Hoping that people get my message. If only I had been more brave. Would you do the same too?

posted by Michelle at 23:43:00 | 0 comments


Friday 19 August 2005
*.* Thank God and Praise God for He is GOOD! *.*

I just have so much to thank God for. Thank God for His goodness, thank God for his mercy and grace, thank God for His new promises everyday, thank God for His blessings and just thank God for everything.

Remember just few days back I was saying I'm facing some difficulties and a couple gave me a blessing of money? Guess what? God is just so good to me. I had an increment of 20%. It's a lot to me! I can only thank God for that.

Though a lot of things I didn't really pray that I need it because I felt so long I watch my spending, my going in and out of cash flow, be a little thrifty everything will be fine, I will be able to survive. God knows my desire somehow. I'm not saying that one does not need to pray very hard then. Through this God taught me an important lesson, so long I have the ability to give and bless others, I should do it because God loves a cheerful giver. I have been through it and understands how it feels.

I don't say that I'm very rich as a student, but I know I'm very contented with all I have now and watch whatever I'm doing with my money.

posted by Michelle at 08:14:00 | 0 comments


Wednesday 17 August 2005
*.* It's MY principle, it's MY values that I live with *.*

I have been crazy over this Korea show lately on the SCV channel. It's about the life of a young palace maid and the people she met in the palace. It all happen in the royal kitchen where there are different ranks of palace maid having to cook for the King and of course there is a Top Kitchen Lady.

Life could be simple there but some people are out there aiming for the Top Kitchen Lady position because of the authority given to them. Out of jealousy they could do anything even to take another person's life. In this particular episode, the Top Kitchen Lady needed someone to take over her as she retired, they had a competition between the two capable candidates. Well, the one who acted a good lady got the title, but the other lady who want her to lose, lost instead.

She then uses her family background to influence her friends. Even when the new Top Kitchen Lady starts her duty, nobody is willing to listen to her. She has in fact no say over the people under her because she doesn't have that kind of influence towards her peers. And the story continues. It's really sad to see this kind of show showing the good and bad of a person.

In real life, I believe there is this kind of people too. We practice politics, we uses whatever authority we have to 'rule' people under us and other sorts of ways to win people over you and trust the unity is strength. I've seen it and been through it even in secondary school. If you think I'm still young and haven't seen the world yet, probably you are wrong. I dare say that at this age (18), I've seen a lot of things. Some things I don't have to wait till I step into the society to know how the world is. A lot of heartaches, a lot of brokenness, broken friendships, being boycott, etc.

Honestly, I can't stand people abusing their authority, even in school my lecturers. Some lecturers show some colour to us. However, they failed to understand that we are no longer small kids and we don't play 'silent game' with them anymore. One of my lecturer expects us to keep absolute silence when he teach. When we become slightly noisy he refused to teach. When all of us try to keep quiet, he just stood at one corner and refused to talk. After that all of us got impatient and started to make a some noise, he continue to stand at his corner. He wasted 30 minutes of our time in total. In fact, it's 300 minutes since there are 100 students. We just don't understand what he wants from us.

Until when my class decided to pack and go off since he refused to talk, he started to talk and let us copy some notes and say he don't want to teach and make up for this lesson. I supposed he is kind of shocked because my whole class was getting ready to step out of the lecture hall if he continues to keep quiet. It really shows unity is strength.

People talk, people judge, people despise. Some times I just feel that it doesn't matter how people look at me or thinks about me, it's me that really matter. It's how I feels and thinks that really matter. I have my own principle and my own stand. It's not easy to explain it to my friends. I've gone through so much since secondary school until now, I agree that somethings I do is to protect myself. I don't mean to offend anyone. It's just that I get very careful and don't want to get hurt again and in turn hurt another person just because I want to protect myself. I don't expect everyone to follow my principle, because it's MY principle, it's MY values that I live with.

posted by Michelle at 01:22:00 | 1 comments


Tuesday 16 August 2005
*.* To be a blessing to others and to bless others *.*

Have you ever wonder if money do drop from the sky? The answer is... No. But the amazing thing is money will drop to you through God when He decided to bless you with some angels.

I am facing some financial difficulities recently because of added payment for my own insurance policy. It's really tough on me because I'm still schooling and I don't earn much. Things will be different when I go out and work then that kind of money could be peanut.

One Sunday morning, it was a normal Sunday morning and as usual I was slightly late for service. It was a CAC Sunday and service ended very early! Wow! It's probably first time in history of YMM Sunday Service. It's my first time that I don't have to rush from one place to another and another place to another, from classes to classes. (That's besides the point) My friends (this big brother n sister of mine) passed me a yellow envelope. I thought it was some encouraging letter of card initially. When I opened it, I felt something soft as if there were some pieces of tissue papers in there. And to my surprise, there were some money. I teared. I was very touched because it's like someone sending you coal to keep you warm in winter.

Honestly, I didn't pray for any money to be given to me. I just pray that I can survive with whatever I have left and walking by faith each day that God is my Provider that I need not worry. I never expect that God will send angels to me to bless me with money.

I've learnt an important lesson through this. I must learn to receive blessings and bless others too. It's about humbling myself to receive and giving cheerfully with a happy heart.

I want to be a blessing to others and to bless others too. This is my life mission: To be a testimony of Christ and set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Tim. 4:12). Do whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, whatever is excellent and praiseworthy to God (Phili 4:8).

posted by Michelle at 13:11:00 | 1 comments


Tuesday 9 August 2005
*.* Happy Birthday Singapore! *.*

It's again National Day and this year we are celebrating the nation's 40th year of our independence. I pray that God will watch over Singapore for her every move. I pray that people in this land will not live in fear each day because of terrorist attack(s) but live with the fear of God. I pray that we will not take our security for granted but let God handle it. I commit Singapore's future unto to His hands that we will prosper and let God do His work here. I pray that God will pour His blessings in this land..

Happy Birthday Singapore!

posted by Michelle at 22:51:00 | 0 comments


Monday 8 August 2005
*.* God deals with the heart of everyone... *.*

This is one song that I want to share here. It's from Hillsong titled 'With all I am'...

Into Your hands, I commit again
With all I am for You Lord
You hold my world in the palm of Your Hand
And I am Yours forever

Jesus I believe I You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing
With all I am

I'll walk with You
Wherever You may go through tear and joy
I'll trust in You
And I believe in all of Your ways, Your promises forever

I will worship
I will worship You

----

Have you ever been to a youth prayer meeting that only consists of 10 people including yourself? Well, I did. It was my first time going to such a small prayer meeting. I was pretty discouraged because earlier I had an hour break I was thinking if I should go back home and get changed but instead I went straight for prayer meeting. When I went into the room, I was shocked! You mean that's prayer meeting with only 10 people?!

Anyway, it was quite an experience and we just worship God like how we usually do. Actually I won't be surprised if most of the youths went to Festival of Praise (FOP) that day. Sometimes it kept me thinking if we worship God because we want to, because He deserves it or because everyone is listening to the most popular song that's why we worship. Sometimes, we need to be reminded that it's God we are worshipping and not the very cool music.

To worship God with all I am, with all I have. I feel sometimes we like to spiritualise things. Why can't we let God be God? Why can't we just humble ourselves and let God work through us? It's about seeking and finding Him. It's about the hunger inside us.

Whenever I do backup singing for service, I am very conscious with myself, so afraid that I might sing out of tune, sing wrongly, but today, I really experienced a different way of doing backup. It's the heart that God sees inside me. The more I choose to worship God, the more I'll enjoy doing backup singing too. September will be a new experience for me. It will be my first time playing for prayer meeting and serving as a keyboardist after about 5 months of training and mentoring in keyboard. Thank God for this sister for putting her effort and commiting her precious for me.

I can see God is working in my life very wonderfully and beautiful. I'm enjoying it. I never regretted putting myself a 3 year covenent with God for I know I can handle it. 3 years, it will soon past fast, with a new transformation of me.

posted by Michelle at 00:36:00 | 0 comments


Wednesday 3 August 2005
*.* *.*

I am taking my driving theory test, haven't been on the road yet. That keeps me wondering when can I be on the road too. Anyway, it doesn't sound cheap to learn driving and it is definitely not cheap driving.

Let's not talk about driving yet but public transport. Even the prices of public transport had been increased 1 month ago. When can Singapore stopped taxing us in each and every way?
Can you imagine even normal places like your neighbourhood central to get lunch, the moment you come near to the carpark, that's it! Beep and there goes your cashcard. Every minute counts and you are paying for every minute you park your car.

The prices for ERP also have gone up. Everything has gone up. I wonder will we ever reach the point like some countries having to take a licence just to ride a bicycle. However, that won't solve the problem either because it will cause a lot of problem to the predestrains.

Petrol price has also gone up. Even though many places are trying hard to win their customers and fighting for highest discounts, the prices are still high.

All these points down that when you want to drive, you really need a lot of money to support your car. Now, every where you go, you will have at least 2 cashcards in your car. That's why the government keep taxing money for drivers.

Last time I used to think having a car is nothing but learning to drive is something. Now my mindset really have changed. Learning a car is nothing, because everyone can learn and get a licence but having a car and maintain it, having a car and drive is not easy. It's too high a price to pay...

Singapore is a FINE country. Indeed it is..

posted by Michelle at 15:42:00 | 0 comments

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