My sleepless nights and lost of appetite was just the symptoms of my worries. I can't help but to think more. I admit that it's a sign of not trusting God. It just leads me feeling more emo each day.
Went for a wake just now and heard a very touching testimony that a daughter could say to her father's wake service. I was moved to uncontrolled tears.
I was wondering what I would say at my father's wake. Will my dad be able to hear what I want to say about missing him? Will I be able to move others to tears with my testimony that I'm proud to have such a father and proud to be his daughter and the things we do together?
I really have no idea. Do you know how difficult to say 'I love you' when half of the time I don't feel that I do because what he did hurts me so much? What will happen if my mom would to go home first? I honestly think I have more to say about my mom than my dad.
I'm sorry for your lost.
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